Colorblind

Grey figures encapsulate
Shrouding and shirking

Color left a bitter taste on your tongue

Hooded shapes stare
Stay with us a little while
Keep in the grey

Mud through everyday filth
Find yourself on the bottom

There will always be but one color
She'll forever stain your heart
and enchant your mind

Brainwash oneself to shades of gloom
Wash away the memories of good and bad
of things gone wrong, days just right

Blossoms of color bloom
and die.

My own love

How in the world do I make this OK?

How am I to fix this,

more importantly,

is it my responsibility to do so?

Heavens knows I'm a classic martyr

taking on the worlds troubles and pains,

making them my own,

until they're better. 

And then they fly away from me,

healed and moved on with life.

When do I choose to heal myself?

I think it's time I find my own healer

my own martyr

my own love. 

written: 10/20/12

Falsehood

Why am I so shocked right now?

I've heard it all before. 

Seen it all go down.

But I've never felt it myself.

I thought I had,

I really did.

People coming to me for advice

and me doling it out

like it's penny candy.

Apparently I amaze myself 

with my own bullshit too.

In my defense,

I didn't realize it was bullshit.

Makes me wonder how much more I really don't know.

because right now

I'm thinking the more I think I know,

the less I actually do

and in reality

I don't know shit. 

Right?

I know,

at the depth of my stomach,

that you're there waiting for me.

But I don't know how to wade through the shit

to find you. 

I'm pretty sure it's you.

I'll never forget the moment

time stood absolutely still.

Then I went and fucked it all up.

....

Now we're in this mess,

and too busy distracting ourselves from reality

to sit down and face it. 

It's such a classic cliche

kinda makes you sick,

right?

Right.

written: 10/20/12