Fall

When I think I’m ready

To fall 

My feet are stuck in 

The mud

And I wonder if 

It will ever stop 

Raining 

Again

Descent

I look up from my descent, 

Never having intended to descend,

And I see my old self at the top

Looking down questioningly 

I’ve become wilted

Uninspired

A shell of who I once was

All of my defining characteristics

No longer apply to me

Who have I become?

More importantly,

How do I bloom again? 

Ending

I realized

That I’m addicted to endings

Even the small ones

A tube of toothpaste running out

The mascara wand drying 

Signing out of work

Packing to go home

The way you say goodbye every morning

As I’m leaving for work

And a small piece of my heart 

Cracks a little more

Hairline fractures

That let more light in 

Manifestation

All night and the following day

I was feeling lethargic

Low energy (so unlike me)

Nausea

Sore muscles

Headaches/migraines

All night and day I wonder

Am I coming down with something?

Did I eat something “bad”?

Am I dehydrated?

But then I remember that

Depression

Has physical symptoms too. 

Mask

Every morning

They put on their mask

And walk around as though 

We can’t see the cracks

They view the world

Through the eyes of the mask

They smell the air,

Convolute comments,

And speak twisted words

Through their mask

At what point does it no longer

Rest on their nightstand?

When do the cracks

Grow real flesh?

When does the light

Stop seeping in?

And at what point do I

Quit being surprised? 

Murder

Expectation

Murders

Dreams

Forgo

Do you ever wonder

What you’re missing

When you forgo instinct

For a career? 

Human

One thing everyone would do well to know

Is that I am always hungry

Hungry for knowledge

Hungry for peace

Hungry for love

Hungry for hate

Hungry for joy 

Hungry for sorrow 

Hungry for travel

Hungry for tomorrow 

Hungry for any and everything

That will teach me 

What it means 

To be

Human.