Dragonflies

Dragonflies dancing in sunbeams filtered by trees

Their shadows flirting in the grass

Frogs and crickets singing of summer’s upcoming demise

A deep, warm, inhale to bring peace

A long, slow, exhale to release

In this moment

All is well 

Filling

In childhood we learn to hide who we really are

The vulnerable parts

Are simply too tasty for bullies

Who beat us into submission,

Until we become a shell.

Until we become our own bullies.

Now, as an adult

Trying to fill this shell feels daunting

Where do I even begin?

What do I even like?

Who am I?

But here I am,

Showing up

With pen to paper

And paper to the world 

I will be me again. 

Café

Oh, Symbolic hyperbolic Coffee

Your bitterness fills me to the depths of my soul

And washes away life’s tortures.

The intensity of your cup 

Helps me to drown myself out.

Assisted suicide of the Self,

Of the Creative within,

That has folded year after year

To fit into this tiny box labeled:

Corporate Drone

Pulse

I used to stare at the heartbeat in my wrist

Pounding with all its might through my flesh

I stared at it for so many hours, days, and years

That I find my eyes still drawn to it

To the small white scar in the shape of an X

The strength of my heart, my will, pushing the shape up

Forcing my gaze, my breath, my attention

On the X that marks the spot

Light

The light within me, though dim

Makes itself known. 

It says, “Don’t forget about me!”

Yet year after year I shove it down,

Pile darkness atop it,

And forget. 

I forget that spark of life exists

That I am not a machine

I am not only logic and reason

But I am human, mammal, animal

With strength of will and heart

With grit to withstand impossibilities

And a core of light so bright

That it would blind all of my insecurities.

If only I would release it

If only I would accept it

Little by little, I do.

I release her into the unknown

With no direction,

No attempt at control or guidance.

I let the light within me out

So that it may escape

And seek out its calling

Whatever that may be.