Star Sheds

I put my pen to paper,

Tired of the electronic hustle

Thoughts stream through, 

Never settling in,

Never making a home.

I try to catch one so I can write it

But, like a shooting star, it streaks through my mind

Leaving light burned in its wake

Fragments of nothing concrete enough to last

Nothing worth fighting for. 

The Journey of Sadness

Head down on my bike

Tears merge with sweat pouring from my face

Watching it drip onto the bike frame

Blending beautifully into one Rorschach image

My chest is so tight

I don’t know if I can breathe

My throat so constricted

I can’t stop choking through each gasp

Get out, get out, GET OUT

Why won’t it come out?

The instructor tells us to push through 

Push through...

But what’s on the other side?

The pain of acknowledging the let go?

The torture of what’s next?

The waiting, and wait...ing, and waitin...g...

The vulnerability is the release

Letting go of the grip onto safety

Lifting that hand onto a new grip on the rock face

Removing one foot and jamming it into a crack

Pushing and pulling and fighting to live

Fingertips bleeding

Thighs shaking

Toes blistered

Lungs quaking

Push up. Push through. Keep pulling. 

Keep climbing. 

The fog below now is so enticing

Its cool embrace, soothing

But that is not where I’ll reside

The fog has settled,

But I will not. 

Revolution

The motor hums

Quiet in its revolution 

Steady, sturdy

Not to be deterred 

Sneaky, stealthy

Not to be heard

Pyres

I tackle the splintered door

Only to hear a creak

I kick it

Punch it

Scream

Scream 

Scream at it

But it won’t budge. 

As if it’s mocking me

Telling me I’m doing it wrong

Just like everything else. 

Wrong. 

I sit on the floor

Knees bent, elbows resting on them

And heave a sigh of frustration

Again and again 

Get it out of me. 

The anger

The seething anger

I’m tired

I’m drained

I’m sick of fighting

And scraping

And always being on guard

I’m fucking tired. 

I suppose all that’s left 

Is to take this door apart

Piece by piece

Splinter by splinter

And burn it all 

In small pyres.