Never had

No one hears the melody in my heart
The way you once did
No one feels the rhythm
The way we did
So many years go by
Trying to ignore the void
It only takes one moment
One song
One beat
One instance
To remind me of what I miss
To remind me of what's gone
To remind me of what I never had.

Ms.

I miss you. 

Miss song

Without dance

Miss lyric

Without bass

Miss smoke 

Without cigarette

Miss shot

Without alcohol 

Miss concert

Without band

Miss too late

Miss 

Miss 

Wrong kind of miss. 

Like a pond in an earthquake

The melody rises and dips

Mezzofortes and pianissimos

As it crescendos, I feel my pulse quicken

The beating of the drums infiltrating my cardiovascular system

My veins hum and buzz

Riding the high of the fortissimo

The melody dips into a quiet, peaceful, sound

My pulse dips with it

Like a lover going in for a soft kiss

Slowing down to take in the pause

CRASH

My heart beats like it's in a race

The rhythm pulses down to my toes

And back to my head

Only to reside in my heart again

The music rides through my body

Down, up, center, repeat

The song reverberating through me

Like a pond in an earthquake

My heart beats 4, 5, 6 times

The melody pauses and then blinks out of existence 

For another day

My Furnace

The gaping hole in my heart
Pounds
             Pounds
                           Pounds
So hard I can hear it echo off the walls.
Memories hidden in ice
Reach out, like little varicose veins,
And encase my lungs.

To let the reel of memories play in my head
Has not once been a blessing.
It only makes the suffering last longer,
Sometimes the torment lasts days,
Often times weeks.

I have finally learned how to melt this ice
How to let my lungs breathe again,
And to let my heart beat of its own free will.

Love.
New love.

This is why I touch your skin sporadically, my love.
You are my sanity,
My furnace.