Alive

My teeth are numb

So I listen to the rain

Hit

Hit

Hit

The window instead

My eyes can’t focus 

So I focus on the breath coming

In

In 

In

My nostrils

My stomach expands

And I hone in on the basics

Of what i means to 

Be alive. 

Comfort

There’s comfort in that

No one really knows me

But there’s discomfort in that

No one really understands me

There’s contentment in that

I don’t let anyone in 

But there’s resentment in that

I’m always hiding 

I have so many secrets

Most of them are stupid

But they’re still mine

And only children don’t share 

Float

Swimming in the ocean

Watching the fish float in the coral

A wave rolls through and 

Carries them to the next coral

They don’t mind

They don’t even notice

They simply move with the water

Trusting that their next meal 

Will come with ease

Useless

I kept myself to myself

Because I thought 

Those pieces of me were not useful

That they would get me nowhere

So therefore, they needn’t be shared.

But year after year 

Of boarding up my own windows

Of hyper-analyzing myself

Of judging every particle

To see if I’m useful to the world

Is not only exhausting

It’s fucking stupid.

The very entrapment I made 

To determine usefulness

Is useless