Glass Walls

“Should I apologize? if what I say burns your ears and stains your eyes. Or did I crack your shell? When it falls away, you’ll see we exist as well.” –Incubus “Glass”

Interesting how the wall that is built so high is made of double pane glass, yet you seem to feel so safe. Your thoughts teeter on the edge, like that of a child caught in a tantrum. Your screams truly mean nothing, they are hardly ever even heard anymore. It’s quite tiresome, now, dealing with these fits of rage that are entirely off-base. Perhaps the thought of learning to deal with your emotions is that of a plausible one? But of course, that’s just me being a know it all.

What’s the most frustrating thing regarding the whole situation, Is that it’s making ME angry. Did you not get angry with me, in the prior, for being angry all the time? I contemplate frequently if you realize just how often you are one of the causes of this anger.

No amount of mileage or yoga can take away this burning torment in my stomach. But at least I can maintain it there (not without effort, not that I want it there). At least I don’t release these demons into the atmosphere at random intervals during the day. At least I am seeking help for these emotions.

But my emotions are 1/16 of that which you carry on your shoulders. I truly ask that you seek professional help for this issue, as the rest of us can no longer carry you. We can no longer brace that of your broken soul, the mending is quite impossible at this point.

My words have broken you many times, I realize this. There are just sometimes that I wish you would take these words to heart and learn from them instead of twisting the words I stated into something they never were. Something that makes you feel better about what was said (and please note that I no longer say any words to you as I now fear your response to any of my words…I am really tired of this plastered on sheen of happiness that doesn’t exist).

I am at a loss...a loss of a friend, a loss of a piece of happiness in my life. A loss of the kindest person I have ever known…until you can mend yourself.

“You never worked well with our group
Not with the faults we found
So we fixed you with cement galoshes
No one can save you now”
--Brand New “Luca”