The Fear I have no doubt

So many thoughts, they are swarming so quickly

wrapping tightly around my throat...

their thick, ramped tongues dying for a taste

of that which is to come.

Fear is the ultimate supper for these thoughts

it is unbearably delicious, tantalizing in every aspect

there is no comparison.

They swarm, getting tighter and tighter around my face

their attempts, thus far, have been abandoned

They have not yet swayed me, have not yet pulled me under...

...not yet.

But they have come close. Frighteningly close

which only makes their frenzy worse

it only perpetuates their desire.

The fear itself is the worst of all vicious cycles

I fear the fear, which makes this tightening around my throat absolutely maddening

It makes all my thoughts twirl, but not in sync like a ballerina

no, these thoughts are the furthest from beautiful and graceful.

They bounce, crack, and groan

I've never wondered why our species was the top of the food chain before

I've always known it was because of this...these thoughts, fear-hungry creatures

But every creatures greatest strength is also their greatest weakness.

Soon I will succumb. Soon.

There is no timeline

But until I do, the thoughts will perpetually tighten

as soon as the fear diminishes, they will loosen for a while

and will be forgotten.

Only to be remembered again when the fear returns.

It will be the death of me someday.

I have no doubt.

Written: January 27, 2009